This week has been really different for me. This is actually the first week in which I have felt tired and totally out of energy due to the chemo. I am glad it has not been like this the whole time I have been having chemo because it is driving me crazy. I am not one to just lie around and get winded just going up stairs. Just putting in a load of laundry, bending down and such is exhausting. They did say the last two wipe you out but I had been doing so well energy wise I guess I just wasn't expecting this. The boys want to go to the pool and I just don't have the energy to do so. My head is still "chemo/medicine head". I guess it kind of feels like after you have been sick with the flu for several days and just doing minor things like getting ready in the morning feels like a work out. I am so ready for this to pass. So needless to say that is why I haven't blogged in a few days. I just don't have the energy. I am feeling a little better today though.
I had my yearly eye exam today. My vision changed a little but she said that could also be due to the "stress" my body is going thru now. She said it could change back later. I didn't realize it had been almost 2 years since I had gone. Apparently I forgot last year. No wonder I was out of contacts. LOL So I ordered several boxes and hopefully that will last until next year. My doctor told me that she had a friend who had breast cancer that didn't make it and she hoped and prayed that I will beat this. "Yeah Me too!!"
I have been thinking lately though, What causes some women to beat it and others don't??? Is it the meds, your outlook, how advanced or what??? I hear of so many that do well and then still lose that "battle". God I really do not want to be one of those. It really scares me when I think of not being here for my kids and Shane. Yes I am fighting with everything that I know to do but is that enough? Caitlyn is so young, she would never remember me. And that makes me so so sad to think that she would never know what a joy that she is too me or what an answer to a like long prayer and dream that she was to me. Yes, I could record and tell her but it is not the same as having a lifetime to show her. Or for the boys how much I love them. For Chandler what a good boy he has been and how proud of him that I am. And Connor how funny he is and how much joy he brings to our family. Things like that.
I guess with my surgery coming up, one last chemo & the other day I watched a special on Oprah about breast cancer and it just makes you realize that some people really don't make it. One of the main topics was about early detection. But they also said that 87% of women who have breast cancer have no family history. That's me. I think they said that women who have it in one breast are 55% likely to get it in the other breast. That is why I am having both removed. I am not taking any chances. Who wants to go thru this again in 5 years. Not me. Another point was for insurance companies to cover more than just the minimum, they should cover for ultrasound, mammograms & MRI. All of them together give a better picture of your overall breast health. If there is one thing that I would encourage every woman is to do your self breast exam's. Get to know your breasts "intimately". That way you will know when something is not right or feels different. Most of the women that I have met and talked to have found their own lumps and spots. Just try to make a conscious effort to do them at least bi weekly. My changed from the end of October to January. It was fast and aggressive. It is not anything to take a chance with. It is literally your LIFE.
Anyway, I emailed Chandler's teacher to see if she had the results of his EOG's. And she told me she couldn't give me the results yet but she could tell me that any children who would have to retake it due to the fact that they didn't pass the first time the parents had been contacted already & seeing as how I didn't get a phone call.........Read between the lines. Yeah & Thank you Jesus!!! So he did it!!!! Thank you all the prayers. I am glad it is over with. So now it is party party at school until June 10th. They could save a lot of $$$$ if they just let the kids out of school now. Who said they had to go for 180 days? Who cares!! I don't. They could save right there on the budget. Work with the kids who have to retake and let the others out. But that is just my humble opinion. LOL
Gotta go and fix dinner now.
Love to all,
Rachael
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Rachel, my mom had breast cancer at age 31 (i'm 40) and she's been cancer-free now for 31 years. She wants me to get the test for the cancer gene and i'm so scared to get it. What do you do if it comes back positive? I have 3 daughters so I know I need to do this test. What are your thoughts on mastectomies to prevent breast cancer? God Bless you and i'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI would encourage you to have the genetic testing done. It is only a blood test and mine was back within a week. One of the sayings that I have adopted during this "journey" is that "Knowledge is Power"!! Use that knowledge to possible save yourself & your daughters. I did it more for my little girl than myself. I knew what I was going to do already. I only have cancer in my left breast but I am doing a double mastectomy just to be on the safe side. No way do I want to have to go thru this again. I have a family friend that had cancer 5 years ago and just found out 3 weeks ago or so that she has it in her other breast. She is going to go thru the whole process again. I do not want to have to do that. Plus, what if the next time I am not so lucky as to find my lump myself. I can't take that chance. They did tell me that even though I am not a carrier of the gene they encourage me to have my daughter start mammograms 10 years before I found mine. So she will start at age 23 with hers. One thing also to keep in mind is that if you are a gene carrier they "say" you are not supposed to tell your daughters until they are 18 and make the descision that they want to know or not. I think that is crazy if it would save her life but that is what they suggest. I don't think they could be tested until they are 18 either but at least if you did it you would know if they need to have it done or not or your Mom could be tested and if she is not a carrier chances are you will not be. I would do it though. You will always have that nagging thought in the back of your mind, "Am I positive?" And God forbid that you got it later in life and were not strong enough to go thru chemo. I see a lot of older women in chemo that have a rough time of it. I know the mastectomy is going to be hard to deal with but it is so much better than taking a chance. I hope this helps. Many thoughts and prayers as you try to make the best descision for you and your family.
Best Regards,
Rachael
Thank you Rachel for your perspective. I'm going to get the test done in the next few weeks. I'll continue to pray for your complete healing. God Bless.
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