I am back....slowly

The last few days have been slow & painful. Not necesssarily sharp pain but dull aching feeling and soreness under my arms and in the additional port sites where they will pump up the expanders. The expanders are actually placed underneath my muscles, hince all the soreness and pain. I just last night finally looked at them. Shane says considering what I just went thru they look really good. A lot better than he thought. I guess better than I thought too, but the actually inscisions are still covered up. I still feel somewhat empty and sad for the part of me that I have lost. I know some would say, "No big deal you get new ones and better ones." But I was really Ok with what I had and I miss them. I am still really numb under my arms for some reason and my skin is pulled really tight. I can only stretch my arms so far or bend over so far before "something" hurts.

I also had 4 moles removed. One was between my toes. Caitlyn said,"Fy mom. I get it. Yuky fy mom. Get it." She thought my stitches were a fly between my toes. LOL Then Connor when he say me he said, " Mom I thought they were taking all of them." Well they did just the expanders make it "appear" to have "some breast tissue". Chandler has been very caring & doting on me. Making sure I don't need anything. Caitlyn points and says, "BooBoo" quite often but she tries to be careful when sitting beside me. The boys left for church camp this week. We pick them up on Friday late morning. They kind of did not want to go after being gone from home and each other so long. But I think they will be fine and they are together so it shouldn't be too bad.

Audra, my brother Travis' girlfriend, is here helping out with Caitlyn this week. Mom has payroll tomorrow. So that is very nice not to have to worry about.


My overall experience in the hospital was good. One nurse that brought me back from surgery to my room was a little rude. I was in so much pain and trying to tell them and 3 of them were trying to pull me on a sheet from one bed to another. I couldn't stop crying for the pain and the nurse grabbed my feet together shook them, which hurt like all get out, and told me to calm down. THAT did not help at all. Now I was mad too. The finally got me to bed and I told them to get Shane. He came pretty quick. Thank God. Later Yessie, Ashley, & Holly came up to see me. I couldn't stay awake but I did know they came by. Thank you guys for that. Sorry I wasn't much company. Dustin and Yessie came by Friday and got us dinner, "House of Taipei" the best Chinese food ever. Mom was there off and on too but she was helping with Chandler. She had gone and got him and the Tillman home. They were so gracious to let Chandler stay with Heath for 2 nights. Thanks Tillman Family for the help.

Everyone has been wonderful. Neighbors have come by, Ashley is making us dinner tonight, the flowers, all the emails, facebook & blog messages have been read and much appreciated. I am sorry that I am not up to replying to all of them individually. Have have the best group of friends and family. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Thanks Honey for keeping everyone posted & updated. I love you & know I could never walk this without you by my side.

All my love,
Rachael