Not My Plans

Four Generations

Shane, Me & Papa Fred

Chandler & Gavin

What a Big Boy for not even 6 months!!

He already weighs 21lbs!!!

He is an absolute dollbaby & We love him!!!

Papa & the Girls



Chandler & Mommy

Shane, Caitlyn & I

On Friday we all went to the Cabarrus County Fair. The kids loved it. We ate all the horrible fried foods that are so unhealthy for us but we had a lot of fun. Caitlyn wanted to ride everything. She kept saying, "I wride" to it all. She loved the corn on the cob the best. Me too.

Saturday was a uneventful day at home, but nice and relaxing. Shane fixed a few things around the house...boys bathtub, change can lights, & finished putting surround sound in the Living Room.

Sunday morning we got up early and left the house by 8:30am. Shane's brother Travis was having his little boy, Gavin dedicated in Durham, NC. He is our only nephew so we wanted to be there. It was a little weird going back to the church up there. We have only been back there a few times since we left July 97. I didn't wear my wig upon my husband's request who seems to think I am really hot with what little hair I have. LOL He must be going blind in his old age. Oh well. Anyway that is one way to turn heads when the last time you saw them you definitely had a head full of hair. Oh well. It wasn't as bad as I thought.

After church we went to have lunch at Shane's parents house. It was very good and Chris had everything ready because she was up till 4am cooking all the salads and side dishes. Shane's request was Chocolate Delight for dessert. Yummy!!! We took a lot of family pictures. As you can see. Above are a few......

Today I had my herceptin treatment and a Dr. Appt at 11am. That went well. I asked about having periodic scans to make sure the cancer hasn't returned somewhere else. But Dr. Lemantani doesn't really recommend it. But if I have any problems with pain that wasn't there before, doesn't go away, lasts longer than a few weeks he will immediately schedule a scan. My chances of having cancer reoccur somewhere else are about 20-30%. Sounds pretty high to me but I know that is a 70-80% that I won't get it. I guess that is all in how you look at it.

After that Shane and I had lunch and then to my Radiation appointment at 2pm. However I got in there laying on the CAT scan table and they said my breast were to big and too close together. "Are you kidding??!!!" Apparently the angle in which the radiation laser has to hit can't go between my "cleavage". So I have to go back to the plastic surgeon tomorrow morning and go back to Radiation at 1pm. So another full day of Doctor's Appointments. I think the biggest thing that I hate is this is so not what I wanted. I had this plan all in my mind that I would have radiation, then a few weeks later be able to have my reconstructive surgery, but now I found out that I have to wait at least 6 weeks after radiation to have the surgery because the skin won't heal properly after having gone thru radiation until at least 6 weeks later. That will make the surgery not until the 2nd or 3rd week of December. I wanted all of this done before the holidays so that I could enjoy them. And now on top of that I have to be deflated.

So I am a little bummed out. But as I laid on my bed "pouting" about "my plans" not working out I felt that I heard a small still voice, "Remember I have plans for you. Not to harm you but to prosper you and give you hope. In two books that I recently (like in the last week) read that was the theme scripture.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Sometimes, Ok a lot of times, during this "journey" of ours I have questioned what the outcome of all of this will be. Guess what??? I still don't know, but I do know he has a plan for me and our family's future. It is not "MY plans or MY time frame" but God's. It is so hard to remember that when things are not going how I had planned or wanted them to. But if I continue to listen & obey that voice that gently reminds me He is there. I will be OK no matter what.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Rachael