Anyway, this Post today may just be for me to have it down as a record for myself because I know not many read or check for posts as before when we were right in the midst of "Our Journey". And that is fine. I am glad I don't cancer drama going on to write about. Or maybe the day you do decide to check and see if I updated my blog will be the day you need to read this post too.
Sunday October 10, 2010 I was in church, Shane was playing the drums for kids world across the street so I was by myself. The worship service started and one of the songs that we sang was "It is well with my Soul" If I am not mistaken, the story behind this song is that the writer loaded his family; his wife and 3 daughters on a ship to England. On the way over it sank and his wife was the only survivor. At his moment of despair he wrote, "It is well". I thought about that as we sang and thought that if that man could have that kind of faith, because it had to be faith, how else could you sing "It is Well" when you just lost your children, then I can still have faith that after 2 1/2 years of having the Jacobs Ridge house for sale that eventually it will sell. It has been my daily prayer of late that God would come thru for us on the house. It is listed as a short sale now. If it does not sell soon and the owners do not have the money to put in for the interest payments then the bank will more than likely proceed with a forclosure. I keep hoping and praying that God will send multiple buyers to bid against each other on it and make it go to just the right amount to cover the loan so it would not have to be a short sale.
The choir sang "I know that I can make, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way. My life is in your hands." How true those words are! I made it thru breast cancer like a speed bump in my life, I can do this too. It is scary not knowing what will happen. But I have my wonderful husband by my side & 3 beautiful children, we are all healthy and most of all together. So no matter where we live or don't live, it is only a house and us all together is what makes "Our Home" We can make a home anywhere!!!!
The ending song before the sermon was; "How wide, how deep, how great...Is your love for me. Lord I'm Amazed by You...... In my mind I was picturing the Jacobs Ridge house sitting on its 2 acres with its 5,000+ sq. ft. I guess thinking that God loved me so much that he would sell this house. And it was as it God said,"Think Bigger" I was thinking bigger??? 5000 sq. ft is plenty. But that is thought that God put in my mind.
As we sat down for Pastor Ross to start his sermon, I glanced down and the sermon notes for the first time that day. The Title was "Origins of a Dream". The scripture was this: Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I wept before he even started. This was for me today. Anyone who has followed my blog knows that this has been "My Scripture" for "Our Journey" I didn't know why I had to go thru all of the cancer but I knew God loved me and had plans not to harm me but to give me hope & most of all a Future.
It only continued to get better after that. Pastor Rick encouraged us to Dream Dreams that were so big that they were Laughable. Just like Abraham & Sarah, who laughed when told they would have a son in their old age. It is laughable to think that we could sell Jacobs Ridge for a profit now but I am dreaming big. I really just want to be out from under it but a profit would be a bonus for God to throw in.
He paralleled Joseph life with his dream of his brothers and family bowing down to him. Sometimes God has to strip us down, like they stripped Joseph from his coat of many colors, so that we know the dream is truly coming for HIM. Life without struggles sounds great, but might cause us to miss God's Dream for our lives. I sometimes wonder am I living my dream or God's dream for my life. Sometimes the road to God's dream for our lives may not be the road we would have chosen. But we have to remember, I have to remember that he has "Plans"!!!!
I am so ready to embrace God's Dream for my Life. As Pastor Rick pointed out, sometimes the Long Way around can be the best God route to our destination that God has planned for us.
So with nervous & excited expectation, I am looking forward to what God has in store for our lives and future. I truly want God's will in our family's life. Sometimes God wants us to go somewhere outside of our comfort zone, but if we are not willing to "move" he cannot move in our lives. We have to be willing.
So God, here I am totally nervous & scared about our future. But I do know that you have plans for my future. Help me to remember that, no matter what. Help me to realize that my will may not necessarily be your will. Let me be willing to "move". I want to trust you completely. Right now, I don't feel like I have much of a choice but I want it to be a choice. I pray that you give Shane the wisdom to make the right decisions for our family's future based on what your will is. Thank you for the peace that you have given me thru all of this. I do know how bad it could get but I know you have given me "that peace that passes all understanding". Because the calmness that I feel in this situation does not make any sense at all. But it does to You. Help me to hang on to the thought, that I know you place in my heart and mind this Sunday October 10, 2010 to: Dream Bigger!!!!!!
Let this be a "monument" for me in my life that I can look back and say, "Look what God gave me to hold on to!" And some day we can share with the kids God's Miracles in Our Life Journey!