Not entirely a bad day. She's trying to get used to getting up & down. Walked in the hall for a while today; though it is tiring & painful. Ate Taipei courtesy of Dustin & Yesi, thanks for dinner guys. It was great as usual & much better then Presby's best downstairs.
Dr with probably come in again in the morning. We hope to hear someing more definite about going home & when. With what Rachael is taking for pain we could replicate that at home & probably be ok I think by noon tomorrow. We'll see........whatever the dr thinks is best.
She's watching a little TV now & resting after dinner. Next round of meds with some Ambien should be here around 9 or so. Maybe try to get some shut eye around 10 when the stuff kicks in.
Thank you all for keeping in touch & all the well wishes. We appreciate each & every one.
Hagn!
Shane
Friday, July 31, 2009
Interesting night to say the least. Got through it though. Took some more meds (thanks Nikki!!) & am trying to catch some sleep before lunch. Both surgeons came in around 8am and were both please with my condition & progress. Day 1 & 2 are supposed to be the worst so tomorrow is looking brighter already. Should be able to go home tomorrow also barring any unforseen issues. Thanks for all the prayers & support!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Long Night Ahead...........
Rachael got into her room about 6:30pm tonight. She's in a lot of pain. I think she had know idea it would be this intense. Maybe a little naivete on our part I guess. The anesthesia wearing off but the morphine/phenergan not kicking in quick enough. Anyway she's resting now. Probably starting falling asleep a little after 8pm. On & off of course as I am sure the night will be. She has to wake every two hours; the nurse has to come in & check for any bleeding, check her vitals etc... They want her to lift her arms but that's not happening with the pain. She's doing good to wiggle her fingers & twist her ankles. Maybe tomorrow morning around breakfast time she can start doing more. Theirs more to tell but I'll let her be her graphic self if she wants to be.
Lin came with us today around 9am. She's been here all day keeping me company. Probably more accurate was we took turns babysitting the luggage & laptops in the waiting room. I did get her to use Rachael's laptop today. Thought she could pass the time like I did.....pretty much stayed online all day....I think I reconfigured my home pages like 3x each out of boredom. I know the Facebook groupies out there were perplexed seeing me signed on all day. One guy chatted with me this morning then around 5pm was like "DUDE" you are still here? Funny in a weird sort of way.
Yesenia came by & then Ashley & Holly. Rachael was asleep. Ash said it was like we were all standing around waiting for Rach to get up & do a show or something like in a zoo! You would have to hear her say that to get it but it was really funny. Holly kept sounding all medical like & practically telling us what to do & not do tonight. It was good to hear someone other than ourselves for a change & our nurses. Glad they came by & even so late. Means a lot. I think Yesi & Ash think I eat a lot or something; they kept asking me if they needed to go get food. Capital Grille is open this late but if I sent them they probably wouldn't come back & I'd have to go get them & take them home. (they eat a lot ;^) )
Thanks to everyone at ITCM holding down the fort. Mentioning anyone by name doesn't diminish anyone not mentioned; you guys are all working hard & kicking butt out there day in & day out. Ranea', you are doing good out there like you always do pulling everyone together & making it happen.
A big shout out to our "Nannies" this week. Chandler is at the Tillman's. Stacy & Patrick were so kind to open their home, as many times before, & invite Chandler over last night & then again tonight. Thanks to Mom Higginbotham for taking Caitlyn & the Conman since last night. They went to a museum today. Joy, Skyla's sister, was there helping out & kept me posted with texts & pics of their day (Connor really likes her, that's my boy!!). BTW, I thought I was up on texting & that "language" but try & understand freakin' stuff from a 15 year old!!!!! Elizabeth, you helped me some but a guess a lot has changed even in a few years.....I was lost half the time....like reading some of those custom license plates you see on the road & you have say them like 20 times to figure them out. Quite humbling actually....lol
Today was a record setting day for texts, voicemails & emails to & about Rachael. She probably won't know the outpouring of support all you guys displayed today but I'll do my best to relay to her each & every message that was left. Thank you again for all the thoughts & prayers. We appreciate each & every one.
Pray she can sleep tonight. She needs her rest for what's going to be a long day tomorrow.
Shane
Lin came with us today around 9am. She's been here all day keeping me company. Probably more accurate was we took turns babysitting the luggage & laptops in the waiting room. I did get her to use Rachael's laptop today. Thought she could pass the time like I did.....pretty much stayed online all day....I think I reconfigured my home pages like 3x each out of boredom. I know the Facebook groupies out there were perplexed seeing me signed on all day. One guy chatted with me this morning then around 5pm was like "DUDE" you are still here? Funny in a weird sort of way.
Yesenia came by & then Ashley & Holly. Rachael was asleep. Ash said it was like we were all standing around waiting for Rach to get up & do a show or something like in a zoo! You would have to hear her say that to get it but it was really funny. Holly kept sounding all medical like & practically telling us what to do & not do tonight. It was good to hear someone other than ourselves for a change & our nurses. Glad they came by & even so late. Means a lot. I think Yesi & Ash think I eat a lot or something; they kept asking me if they needed to go get food. Capital Grille is open this late but if I sent them they probably wouldn't come back & I'd have to go get them & take them home. (they eat a lot ;^) )
Thanks to everyone at ITCM holding down the fort. Mentioning anyone by name doesn't diminish anyone not mentioned; you guys are all working hard & kicking butt out there day in & day out. Ranea', you are doing good out there like you always do pulling everyone together & making it happen.
A big shout out to our "Nannies" this week. Chandler is at the Tillman's. Stacy & Patrick were so kind to open their home, as many times before, & invite Chandler over last night & then again tonight. Thanks to Mom Higginbotham for taking Caitlyn & the Conman since last night. They went to a museum today. Joy, Skyla's sister, was there helping out & kept me posted with texts & pics of their day (Connor really likes her, that's my boy!!). BTW, I thought I was up on texting & that "language" but try & understand freakin' stuff from a 15 year old!!!!! Elizabeth, you helped me some but a guess a lot has changed even in a few years.....I was lost half the time....like reading some of those custom license plates you see on the road & you have say them like 20 times to figure them out. Quite humbling actually....lol
Today was a record setting day for texts, voicemails & emails to & about Rachael. She probably won't know the outpouring of support all you guys displayed today but I'll do my best to relay to her each & every message that was left. Thank you again for all the thoughts & prayers. We appreciate each & every one.
Pray she can sleep tonight. She needs her rest for what's going to be a long day tomorrow.
Shane
Moving on.................
Her 2nd surgery of the day just finished up. She's in recovery now for the next 1-2 hours. Dr. Crisswell said she did great & is sleeping the meds off. The dr was pleased with the results & said it went as well as should could have hoped. Thank you for all your prayers; they are making a difference. Keep them going!!!
Shane
Shane
Mastectomy: Successful!
All went well with the surgery. Two lymph nodes tested showed no signs of cancer!! That's really good....they did not have to remove any more. Reconstruction has started.....should know more in 2 hours or so.
Shane
Shane
Here we go!
Got to the hospital this morning around 9am. Did pre op checks & all that good stuff up until about 10:30. Now in the presurgery room fixing to go back. Everything is good so far!!! Thank you to everyone for their phone calls, texts, FB posts & emails. They mean a lot.......
Surgery should take 2-2.5 hours depending on how the the lymph nodes they test come back...if they dont' all bets are off & we'll have to drop back & punt.....assuming they do test ok reconstruction surgery starts for the other 1.5-2 hours putting all this wrapping up somewhere between 4-5pm this afternoon. Then there is a 2 +/- hour "recovery" period in a recovery room then we'll move to somewhere else......after that it's foggy, all the rambling started sounding too much alike to keep it all straight. We'll keep everyone posted if anything significant, good or bad, develops. This entire journey has come off quite well considering & we expect today to be no different. Thank you again for all the prayers, keep them coming!
Shane
Surgery should take 2-2.5 hours depending on how the the lymph nodes they test come back...if they dont' all bets are off & we'll have to drop back & punt.....assuming they do test ok reconstruction surgery starts for the other 1.5-2 hours putting all this wrapping up somewhere between 4-5pm this afternoon. Then there is a 2 +/- hour "recovery" period in a recovery room then we'll move to somewhere else......after that it's foggy, all the rambling started sounding too much alike to keep it all straight. We'll keep everyone posted if anything significant, good or bad, develops. This entire journey has come off quite well considering & we expect today to be no different. Thank you again for all the prayers, keep them coming!
Shane
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tomorrow Tomorrow
Tomorrow is “D Day” for the boobies. I am feeling a lot better today for some reason. The last two days were pretty rough still. Everything still made me bust out into tears. Hormones I guess and fear. I am trying to think of all the stuff that needs to be done before I am out of commission. Laundry, the boys really need a yearly check up, Caitlyn has spots on her face, Chickenpox’s??, I have no idea, but I don’t think so, things to return to the store, button up clothing for me after surgery, cleaning out the china cabinet, saying good bye to two of my babies tonight, lunch with a dear friend, massages, last minute Dr. Appointments you know the usual for me. LOL Too much going on. Oh Well it will eventually get done.
My brother wrote a comment on my blog about when we were kids and had to fly out west to see our Dad for the Summer. Travis hates flying to this day. The airline would seat all 3 of us together. I was probably only about 10 so Travis was 8 & Dustin was 6. We were pretty little. Travis’ hands would be so white for gripping the arm rests so tight. I would put my hand over his and we would say together, “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee, What time I am afraid I will trust in thee!!” We would just say it over and over while the plane was landing and taking off. That was always the hardest for both of us. He didn’t like flying and I always got “car/plane sick”. But we made it and to this day I now teach the same scripture to my boys when they are scared.
That promise is still available to me going thru this “journey” of ours. Because it isn’t just me but all my family, friends, anyone who reads my blog, & all of us “Survivors” out there. It sometimes feels like such a long journey. I know I eventually will see the light at the end of the tunnel but right now it seems so far away. God is beside me all the way. He will be in that operating room with my surgeons. A long time friend of our family wrote me this:
I may have quoted this one before to you but it's one of my very favorites. Isa 46:3&4. Listen to me... I have cared for you from the time your were born. I am your God and will take care of you until you are old and your hair is gray. I made you and will care for you. I will give you help and rescue you.”
Jesus has you in the palm of his hand. I just got a picture in my mind of the Great Physician standing in the operating room with your doctors, looking over their shoulders and telling them what to do. The Bible does say that He is the voice behind us, telling us which way to go, so I'm trusting that this is just what He'll be doing on Thursday.
Thank you Edie. I love you.
And so many others who have commented and emailed me with thoughts & prayers. I truly am so blessed to have such a great support system. God is a good God. If I could ask for anything it would have to be Peace. And I know that he is a God who gives us “A peace that passes all understanding”. That to me says, “This peace that I am going to feel does not make sense & no one else or even myself may understand it but it will be there by the Grace of God.” I don’t have that peace yet but I am claiming it in Jesus Name.
So many others have already gone thru this and have survived and are doing so well. So as the saying goes, “I am going to fight like a girl” & beat this thing.
I also know that there are others that have gone before us who did not make it but paved the road for those of us who have come after them. Where would we be without the clinical trials, research, meds & surgeries if it wasn’t for them. I am so thankful for all of the women who paved the way for us now.
One of those ladies was my pastor’s wife when I was a little girl in San Antonio, TX. She was the most beautiful lady, mother, sister, & wife. She had a quiet & meek spirit about her, but you knew she meant business too. You had to, she was the mom of 4 children and of course the whole “Church Family”. She did it all with grace & love. I loved to go to her house. Her daughter and I were very close friends. At a time in my life where my world felt upside down, going thru the divorce of my parents, they were always there. Others may have ‘shunned” us but we were always welcome in their home to play. I was baptized by her husband, the Pastor, and received the Holy Ghost when I was 10 years old in that church. That was the most life changing experience for me and I will never forget where it happened. And my best friend in the world was right there by my side.
Last year, right before Thanksgiving, she lost her courageous battle with breast & bone cancer. My heart grieved for her family and my dear friend. We had lost contact over the years, but when that happened we began corresponding again. How ironic that only 6 weeks later I found my lumps. My friend as soon as she heard about me has been in contact thru my journey thus far and I have also been able to get to know her little sister who was a little younger than we were when we were kids, but now has a family of her own also. I have been amazed that even during their time of grieving they have reached out to me, when I know it has to be so hard feeling like you have to relive everything you just went thru with their beloved Mom. But I am so thankful and they have been such a blessing to me. I thank you both for your unselfishness, love and for being there for me. I loved your Mom and she was just awesome. Never forget that. She touched many lives including the one of a little 11 year old girl over 20 years ago.
I did get the boys their haircuts, returned a few of the things I needed to Target, had lunch with a friend and some family, packed for Caitlyn, laid her down for a nap, left to go to a dentist appointment, then my “markings” appointment with the plastic surgeon, & now I am sitting at the Ballantyne Spa blogging after a marvelous massage. Shane had given me a gift card over 2 years ago and I am just now using it. Oh well. Better late than never. Thank you Babe it was great. Yessie is with me and she is having her massage done now so I thought I would update everyone a little.
Saying goodbye to my babies was harder than I thought. They are what keeps me going and one of the reasons I keep fighting so hard. I will still be their Mommy but I will be “different” no matter how you look at it. Connor told me the other night when I was crying, “It will be Ok Mommy. It is alright.” Then later he told me, “Well Mom I might be a little embarrassed.” At least he is honest. Connor then told me Chandler was crying after I left the room because of my surgery. They both said, “I wish you never had to have cancer Mommy.” Mommy does too little buddies but for some reason I do and we are going to fight it.
On a funny note with my dear son Connor, whom I deeply love, he was playing Xbox with my brother Travis and Travis kept messing up and Connor kept saying, “Dude, Dude!!” Travis asked him why he kept calling him dude. With a shy look and down turned eyes he said, “That is a nice way to say Dummy!” What a kid!!!
Well Yessie & I are going to eat dinner after our treatments and then head towards home and try to catch up with our friend Ashley and my Mom to watch a chic flick. Yeah!!! Shane is taking Caitlyn and Connor to meet his mom half way around Exit 124 tonight. Probably on the road now hopefully because of traffic.
I am hoping I can con Shane into posting updates on my blog and face book while I am in surgery tomorrow. My love you each and everyone of you. Thank you again for all the kind words, emails, cards, and most of all prayers. I could not do this without any of you and I am so glad that I don’t.
All my love,
Rachael Renea
My brother wrote a comment on my blog about when we were kids and had to fly out west to see our Dad for the Summer. Travis hates flying to this day. The airline would seat all 3 of us together. I was probably only about 10 so Travis was 8 & Dustin was 6. We were pretty little. Travis’ hands would be so white for gripping the arm rests so tight. I would put my hand over his and we would say together, “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee, What time I am afraid I will trust in thee!!” We would just say it over and over while the plane was landing and taking off. That was always the hardest for both of us. He didn’t like flying and I always got “car/plane sick”. But we made it and to this day I now teach the same scripture to my boys when they are scared.
That promise is still available to me going thru this “journey” of ours. Because it isn’t just me but all my family, friends, anyone who reads my blog, & all of us “Survivors” out there. It sometimes feels like such a long journey. I know I eventually will see the light at the end of the tunnel but right now it seems so far away. God is beside me all the way. He will be in that operating room with my surgeons. A long time friend of our family wrote me this:
I may have quoted this one before to you but it's one of my very favorites. Isa 46:3&4. Listen to me... I have cared for you from the time your were born. I am your God and will take care of you until you are old and your hair is gray. I made you and will care for you. I will give you help and rescue you.”
Jesus has you in the palm of his hand. I just got a picture in my mind of the Great Physician standing in the operating room with your doctors, looking over their shoulders and telling them what to do. The Bible does say that He is the voice behind us, telling us which way to go, so I'm trusting that this is just what He'll be doing on Thursday.
Thank you Edie. I love you.
And so many others who have commented and emailed me with thoughts & prayers. I truly am so blessed to have such a great support system. God is a good God. If I could ask for anything it would have to be Peace. And I know that he is a God who gives us “A peace that passes all understanding”. That to me says, “This peace that I am going to feel does not make sense & no one else or even myself may understand it but it will be there by the Grace of God.” I don’t have that peace yet but I am claiming it in Jesus Name.
So many others have already gone thru this and have survived and are doing so well. So as the saying goes, “I am going to fight like a girl” & beat this thing.
I also know that there are others that have gone before us who did not make it but paved the road for those of us who have come after them. Where would we be without the clinical trials, research, meds & surgeries if it wasn’t for them. I am so thankful for all of the women who paved the way for us now.
One of those ladies was my pastor’s wife when I was a little girl in San Antonio, TX. She was the most beautiful lady, mother, sister, & wife. She had a quiet & meek spirit about her, but you knew she meant business too. You had to, she was the mom of 4 children and of course the whole “Church Family”. She did it all with grace & love. I loved to go to her house. Her daughter and I were very close friends. At a time in my life where my world felt upside down, going thru the divorce of my parents, they were always there. Others may have ‘shunned” us but we were always welcome in their home to play. I was baptized by her husband, the Pastor, and received the Holy Ghost when I was 10 years old in that church. That was the most life changing experience for me and I will never forget where it happened. And my best friend in the world was right there by my side.
Last year, right before Thanksgiving, she lost her courageous battle with breast & bone cancer. My heart grieved for her family and my dear friend. We had lost contact over the years, but when that happened we began corresponding again. How ironic that only 6 weeks later I found my lumps. My friend as soon as she heard about me has been in contact thru my journey thus far and I have also been able to get to know her little sister who was a little younger than we were when we were kids, but now has a family of her own also. I have been amazed that even during their time of grieving they have reached out to me, when I know it has to be so hard feeling like you have to relive everything you just went thru with their beloved Mom. But I am so thankful and they have been such a blessing to me. I thank you both for your unselfishness, love and for being there for me. I loved your Mom and she was just awesome. Never forget that. She touched many lives including the one of a little 11 year old girl over 20 years ago.
I did get the boys their haircuts, returned a few of the things I needed to Target, had lunch with a friend and some family, packed for Caitlyn, laid her down for a nap, left to go to a dentist appointment, then my “markings” appointment with the plastic surgeon, & now I am sitting at the Ballantyne Spa blogging after a marvelous massage. Shane had given me a gift card over 2 years ago and I am just now using it. Oh well. Better late than never. Thank you Babe it was great. Yessie is with me and she is having her massage done now so I thought I would update everyone a little.
Saying goodbye to my babies was harder than I thought. They are what keeps me going and one of the reasons I keep fighting so hard. I will still be their Mommy but I will be “different” no matter how you look at it. Connor told me the other night when I was crying, “It will be Ok Mommy. It is alright.” Then later he told me, “Well Mom I might be a little embarrassed.” At least he is honest. Connor then told me Chandler was crying after I left the room because of my surgery. They both said, “I wish you never had to have cancer Mommy.” Mommy does too little buddies but for some reason I do and we are going to fight it.
On a funny note with my dear son Connor, whom I deeply love, he was playing Xbox with my brother Travis and Travis kept messing up and Connor kept saying, “Dude, Dude!!” Travis asked him why he kept calling him dude. With a shy look and down turned eyes he said, “That is a nice way to say Dummy!” What a kid!!!
Well Yessie & I are going to eat dinner after our treatments and then head towards home and try to catch up with our friend Ashley and my Mom to watch a chic flick. Yeah!!! Shane is taking Caitlyn and Connor to meet his mom half way around Exit 124 tonight. Probably on the road now hopefully because of traffic.
I am hoping I can con Shane into posting updates on my blog and face book while I am in surgery tomorrow. My love you each and everyone of you. Thank you again for all the kind words, emails, cards, and most of all prayers. I could not do this without any of you and I am so glad that I don’t.
All my love,
Rachael Renea
Sunday, July 26, 2009
His Perfect Strength
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what he can do for me
No great success to show
No glory of my own yet in my weakness
He is there to let me know
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in his power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect His strenght is perfect
We can only know tht power that he holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength it must begin
When ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in his power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect. His strength is perfect.
The Countdown is On: July 30th
Four days from now I will be having my bilateral mastectomy. I am really starting to get scared with what is to come. I know they do it everyday but for me this is a once in a lifetime thing. It is also going to be life changing for me. I don't know how I am going to feel when I see myself that way. Or if I want Shane to see me that way. I wonder if he will ever get to the point and just say this is too much. Will I ever be able to look at myself and be confident again knowing what others can't see? I have so my doubts, questions & fears but never the less it is something I have to do no matter what. I keep thinking maybe I could just not do it but I know that is not even an option. My emotions are all over the place & I don't know what to do with them and always end of crying. As I am now. What will the kids think? I will so miss holding Caitlyn for a while until I heal enough to be able to pick her up again.
You see things so differently when you know you are facing something this serious. You realize how precious life is and all of the what if's start going thru your mind. I try not to lean towards the negative but some days are just like that. Today is also Chandler's 9th Birthday and he is in Florida with his Uncle Chad & Aunt Marcella. I miss him so much. It is hard to believe that 9 years ago I was still in the hospital in labor trying to have him. He was not born until 11:58pm. We were so tired. I was so tired I didn't even realize he wasn't breathing. But finally that beautiful cry filled our room. I have to say I would much rather be going to have a baby on Thursday any day than this.
I think it is a little surreal for my friends and family also going thru this with me right now because overall I have done so well. It just seems like hey Rachael got a new hairdo, goes to the doctor a lot, and sometimes has headaches forgetting that I am really having the "fight of my life"And now I feel like I am falling apart. And I hate it. I have tried to be so strong so no one worries too much about me. I am a fighter but I am so human right now and feel so weak. I don't want to be one of the ones who doesn't make it. I don't want this to affect my kids or my marriage etc. Just so many things going thru my mind these last few days. Please do not think I am whining. That is not my intention. But when I decided to write this blog I told myself I would be completely honest, for myself & for whoever was reading it. One day when my kids and I look back and read this I want them to know the truth. It is not all pretty.
While I was in Oregon I made my cousins and aunts go watch "My Sisters Keeper". They all thought it was horrible of me to "make" them go with me having cancer in all. It was pretty good. They sobbed the whole time. They said it kind of helped them to understand what I was going thru. Two main things I could relate to was one scene where they are begging her to get out of bed and go somewhere. She is crying because she feels so ugly with her bald head and begs them not to tell her one more time that she is beautiful. I feel like that too. Everyone tries to tell you different but if doesn't matter because that is so not how you feel inside about yourself at all. The other is she felt like she was a burden to her family: Emotionally & Financially. Wow I can relate with that. I know you can't put a price on your life & what is a few thousand dollars in the grand scheme of things but still feels like a burden you are putting them thru.
So as you can probably tell this is going to be a really rough week for me and I covet every prayer. I know I am not alone but I am still afraid. But it makes me think of a scripture I would say when I was little: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." That is where I am and what I am trying to do. So please keep me in your prayers this week especially on Thursday. It will be anywhere from a 3-7 hour surgery.
When Shane and I were coming home today I saw a license plate that had Phil 4. I googled it just now because I just thought of it again and the first thing that came up was Philippians 4:6.
You see things so differently when you know you are facing something this serious. You realize how precious life is and all of the what if's start going thru your mind. I try not to lean towards the negative but some days are just like that. Today is also Chandler's 9th Birthday and he is in Florida with his Uncle Chad & Aunt Marcella. I miss him so much. It is hard to believe that 9 years ago I was still in the hospital in labor trying to have him. He was not born until 11:58pm. We were so tired. I was so tired I didn't even realize he wasn't breathing. But finally that beautiful cry filled our room. I have to say I would much rather be going to have a baby on Thursday any day than this.
I think it is a little surreal for my friends and family also going thru this with me right now because overall I have done so well. It just seems like hey Rachael got a new hairdo, goes to the doctor a lot, and sometimes has headaches forgetting that I am really having the "fight of my life"And now I feel like I am falling apart. And I hate it. I have tried to be so strong so no one worries too much about me. I am a fighter but I am so human right now and feel so weak. I don't want to be one of the ones who doesn't make it. I don't want this to affect my kids or my marriage etc. Just so many things going thru my mind these last few days. Please do not think I am whining. That is not my intention. But when I decided to write this blog I told myself I would be completely honest, for myself & for whoever was reading it. One day when my kids and I look back and read this I want them to know the truth. It is not all pretty.
While I was in Oregon I made my cousins and aunts go watch "My Sisters Keeper". They all thought it was horrible of me to "make" them go with me having cancer in all. It was pretty good. They sobbed the whole time. They said it kind of helped them to understand what I was going thru. Two main things I could relate to was one scene where they are begging her to get out of bed and go somewhere. She is crying because she feels so ugly with her bald head and begs them not to tell her one more time that she is beautiful. I feel like that too. Everyone tries to tell you different but if doesn't matter because that is so not how you feel inside about yourself at all. The other is she felt like she was a burden to her family: Emotionally & Financially. Wow I can relate with that. I know you can't put a price on your life & what is a few thousand dollars in the grand scheme of things but still feels like a burden you are putting them thru.
So as you can probably tell this is going to be a really rough week for me and I covet every prayer. I know I am not alone but I am still afraid. But it makes me think of a scripture I would say when I was little: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." That is where I am and what I am trying to do. So please keep me in your prayers this week especially on Thursday. It will be anywhere from a 3-7 hour surgery.
When Shane and I were coming home today I saw a license plate that had Phil 4. I googled it just now because I just thought of it again and the first thing that came up was Philippians 4:6.
Philippians 4:6 (New International Version)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Wow. He really does hear our prayers and knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts. So Thank you God for hearing my cries of distress and fear. And with a gentle nudge you let me know that you are still there. And that I have nothing to fear when I put my complete trust in you. Amen
Rachael
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A Busy Week with more to Come
The weekend and the first part of this week have been pretty busy and exhausting. The guys left around 8am of Friday morning. They were all pretty excited. On Friday for us we just hung out at home. The boys played legos, xbox, & wii & I did laundry and straightening the house us up. We also had Bella Friday also. Yessie still was not feeling well so she took another day of rest.
Later in the afternoon, Tony came to pick up Chandler and Connor to take them to go see "Up" They really seemed to enjoy it. And somehow they talked Papa Tony into getting them each another DS game and a Lego toy. Spoiled kids. When Tony dropped off the boys he said, " Well at least I got the boys out of your hair for a while." LOL He totally did not realize what he said. It was pretty funny. They spent the rest of that night making those toys. We ate Pork Fried Rice w/ leftover pork loin that we grilled out the night before. It was very good. Mom made it of course.
Saturday we got up and had brown sugar & cinnamon pancakes for breakfast. The boys loved them. Around noon Shane's mom came to visit us. So we spent the day with her. The boys learned how to make "cherries" out of zucchini and cherry kool aid. That was "way cool" in their eyes. They didn't taste bad either. It was weird. Later she took all 3 kids to the park. Then we make tacos for dinner that night and as we were making tacos, my brother Travis showed up. We were not expecting him until late late that night. So it was nice to be able to spend time with him. After dinner, Chris had to get on the road so they wouldn't get back late. So Chandler left to go with her because he is going to fly out Monday morning with his Uncle Chad. Chandler came to me crying before he left saying, "I don't want to miss you for over a week." I tried to reassure him it would be fine and he would have so much fun. All this while trying not to cry myself. I really do not know how mom did it year after year when we were kids to send up for the summer to Oregon to see Dad. It is really hard for one & then to have to be tough in front of them with no tears. I do miss my big boy. I can't believe he is going to be 9 on Monday.
We have talked to Chandler everyday. Chad said he slept the whole way there. Hopefully his flight back will be just as easy. He did call again last night and was crying but didn't want to talk to us while he was crying. He called back later to talk to Daddy and was fine. Overall I think he is doing very well. He is supposed to be at the beach today. Golfing another day & the lake another. I hope Chad & Marcella are enjoying him just as much. He is such a sweet and respectful little man. He makes me very proud. But I miss him.
Sunday morning for church we went to A.C.T.S ministries to hear my brother Travis speak. He spoke about Love & Forgiveness. I didn't get to hear it all because I had to Caitlyn back to the nursery because she wanted to talk too. But what I could hear was good. Good Job Travis. We love you and are very proud.
Sunday the guys got home around 6pm. They had plenty of stories to tell and kept us laughing all evening. We had Chef Salad for dinner which was good for something not hot and light for dinner. Next we watched, Wild Hogs. It was so funny watching again with all the guys after their own Adventure. Mostly I am very thankful they all came back safe and had fun.
Monday afternoon we met Tony for lunch to celebrate Travis 32th Birthday. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory. I haven't been there in years. Mine was not very good. They forgot the onions on my tacos and it was cold even the second time around. So we just sent if back. But my
Banana Cream Cheesecake was awesome. Mine was the best out of the 4 or 5 that we ordered. I think. Anyway we left there and went back home because I had treatment at 3:30pm. So my Dad took me to that seeing as how he hasn't been here since I started treatment. So that kind of gave him a little insight on what I have to go thru for them every 3 weeks now. It was a fairly easy one this time though. We left there and rushed home to finish getting everything ready for Travis' Birthday. We were planning for 24 and 10 didn't show. They all had good reasons but we had a ton of food leftover. So guess what we are still eating. LOL Oh well it still was really good with the family that was there. I just felt bad for Travis.
That night I had to say good bye to my Dad. He was leaving early in the morning so I wouldn't be able to see him again. It is so hard every time. You would think after 21 years of saying good bye to him every year it would get easier but it doesn't. I know he will probably come down for Christmas or Thanksgiving if not I won't see him till next summer and that is really hard for me sometimes to deal with. Divorce sucks not just when it happens but for the years to follow. It doesn't just affect the two people involved it affects their kids and in my case now my kids. The one thing I swore to protect my kids from and never put them thru is out of my hands. We are having to do it all over again. I hate it and it makes my heart break.
Tuesday afternoon I decided to go visit Shane's parents and Papa Fred. I know it will be the last time for a while before I will be able to drive up there to see them. Hopefully they can come but it is hard with Papa being in a wheelchair. Shane had to go to Charleston to clear some things out so I decided that it was a good time to go. We enjoyed the day with them and Caitlyn did really well with Chris and Papa Fred & Robin. She usually cries when I take her there because she thinks we are going to leave her. She is going up there next week to stay but Connor will be with her so hopefully it will be better than before when i have left her in the past.
We got home Wednesday about 5:30 pm and Shane got home about 6pm. He needed to return Jack's motorcycle so we all went and then grabbed a bit to eat at 5 Guys, went home and called it an early night.
Today I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Turk, again. And he went over everything and I am having him also cut off a few unwanted moles. Might as well while he is cutting things off. He said I will be in the surgery for about 2 hours himself then however long the plastic surgeon is then about 2 days minimum in the hospital. I have my pre-op with the plastic surgeon tomorrow. So we will see how that goes.
Next Thursday is the 30th and my new surgery date for any who did not already know. Please keep me in your prayers that day. I appreciate all that have already gone up on my behalf.
Much Love,
Rachael
Later in the afternoon, Tony came to pick up Chandler and Connor to take them to go see "Up" They really seemed to enjoy it. And somehow they talked Papa Tony into getting them each another DS game and a Lego toy. Spoiled kids. When Tony dropped off the boys he said, " Well at least I got the boys out of your hair for a while." LOL He totally did not realize what he said. It was pretty funny. They spent the rest of that night making those toys. We ate Pork Fried Rice w/ leftover pork loin that we grilled out the night before. It was very good. Mom made it of course.
Saturday we got up and had brown sugar & cinnamon pancakes for breakfast. The boys loved them. Around noon Shane's mom came to visit us. So we spent the day with her. The boys learned how to make "cherries" out of zucchini and cherry kool aid. That was "way cool" in their eyes. They didn't taste bad either. It was weird. Later she took all 3 kids to the park. Then we make tacos for dinner that night and as we were making tacos, my brother Travis showed up. We were not expecting him until late late that night. So it was nice to be able to spend time with him. After dinner, Chris had to get on the road so they wouldn't get back late. So Chandler left to go with her because he is going to fly out Monday morning with his Uncle Chad. Chandler came to me crying before he left saying, "I don't want to miss you for over a week." I tried to reassure him it would be fine and he would have so much fun. All this while trying not to cry myself. I really do not know how mom did it year after year when we were kids to send up for the summer to Oregon to see Dad. It is really hard for one & then to have to be tough in front of them with no tears. I do miss my big boy. I can't believe he is going to be 9 on Monday.
We have talked to Chandler everyday. Chad said he slept the whole way there. Hopefully his flight back will be just as easy. He did call again last night and was crying but didn't want to talk to us while he was crying. He called back later to talk to Daddy and was fine. Overall I think he is doing very well. He is supposed to be at the beach today. Golfing another day & the lake another. I hope Chad & Marcella are enjoying him just as much. He is such a sweet and respectful little man. He makes me very proud. But I miss him.
Sunday morning for church we went to A.C.T.S ministries to hear my brother Travis speak. He spoke about Love & Forgiveness. I didn't get to hear it all because I had to Caitlyn back to the nursery because she wanted to talk too. But what I could hear was good. Good Job Travis. We love you and are very proud.
Sunday the guys got home around 6pm. They had plenty of stories to tell and kept us laughing all evening. We had Chef Salad for dinner which was good for something not hot and light for dinner. Next we watched, Wild Hogs. It was so funny watching again with all the guys after their own Adventure. Mostly I am very thankful they all came back safe and had fun.
Monday afternoon we met Tony for lunch to celebrate Travis 32th Birthday. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory. I haven't been there in years. Mine was not very good. They forgot the onions on my tacos and it was cold even the second time around. So we just sent if back. But my
Banana Cream Cheesecake was awesome. Mine was the best out of the 4 or 5 that we ordered. I think. Anyway we left there and went back home because I had treatment at 3:30pm. So my Dad took me to that seeing as how he hasn't been here since I started treatment. So that kind of gave him a little insight on what I have to go thru for them every 3 weeks now. It was a fairly easy one this time though. We left there and rushed home to finish getting everything ready for Travis' Birthday. We were planning for 24 and 10 didn't show. They all had good reasons but we had a ton of food leftover. So guess what we are still eating. LOL Oh well it still was really good with the family that was there. I just felt bad for Travis.
That night I had to say good bye to my Dad. He was leaving early in the morning so I wouldn't be able to see him again. It is so hard every time. You would think after 21 years of saying good bye to him every year it would get easier but it doesn't. I know he will probably come down for Christmas or Thanksgiving if not I won't see him till next summer and that is really hard for me sometimes to deal with. Divorce sucks not just when it happens but for the years to follow. It doesn't just affect the two people involved it affects their kids and in my case now my kids. The one thing I swore to protect my kids from and never put them thru is out of my hands. We are having to do it all over again. I hate it and it makes my heart break.
Tuesday afternoon I decided to go visit Shane's parents and Papa Fred. I know it will be the last time for a while before I will be able to drive up there to see them. Hopefully they can come but it is hard with Papa being in a wheelchair. Shane had to go to Charleston to clear some things out so I decided that it was a good time to go. We enjoyed the day with them and Caitlyn did really well with Chris and Papa Fred & Robin. She usually cries when I take her there because she thinks we are going to leave her. She is going up there next week to stay but Connor will be with her so hopefully it will be better than before when i have left her in the past.
We got home Wednesday about 5:30 pm and Shane got home about 6pm. He needed to return Jack's motorcycle so we all went and then grabbed a bit to eat at 5 Guys, went home and called it an early night.
Today I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Turk, again. And he went over everything and I am having him also cut off a few unwanted moles. Might as well while he is cutting things off. He said I will be in the surgery for about 2 hours himself then however long the plastic surgeon is then about 2 days minimum in the hospital. I have my pre-op with the plastic surgeon tomorrow. So we will see how that goes.
Next Thursday is the 30th and my new surgery date for any who did not already know. Please keep me in your prayers that day. I appreciate all that have already gone up on my behalf.
Much Love,
Rachael
Friday, July 17, 2009
Home at Last
We left Boise at 7:30am. We had to get up at 3:45am to get ready and drive to the airport. It is an hour from my Dad's house. Too early for me. We got into Raleigh about 4:15pm on Wednesday afternoon. It was a fairly uneventful flight Thank God. The first flight was from Boise to Salt Lake City. I was able to take Caitlyn's carseat on board and she fell asleep. It was only a 45minute flight. But when we got into Salt Lake the next flight was full so I had to wake her up and gate check the carseat. We stayed on the same plane the whole day. The next leg of the trip was to Chicago. That was the longest one which was 3 hours. The kids did so well. I was so proud of them. From Chicago we went to Raleigh. That was about 1 hr 20 minutes. Shane was there to pick us up and all 3 kids ran to Daddy. They were so glad to see him. I was too. We drove home from Raleigh and got home about 6:45 pm with stopping to eat something on the way.
Arriving home we unloaded & unpacked believe it or not. It wasn't too bad now that the boys are older they can unpack their own stuff. So that is nice. So really I only had to do mine and Caitlyn's. I did laundry with the help of my cousin, Nikki before I left so I didn't have to do that. I decided that night I was going to ween Caty from her passy. I have been trying to for months but something always came up. Cancer & trips you know the usual. LOL Anyway seeing as how I have 2 weeks before surgery I thought it might be a good time to try. Plus I figured with Shane gone for the weekend, if it was bad, only one of us would not get sleep. She fell right asleep that night and didn't even ask for it. Amazing!!! She woke up the next morning and asked for it. I tried to ignore it and put her in bed with me but she kept asking for it. So she decided that if Mommy wouldn't get it she would. So she got out of my bed, went to her room, grabbed the container on her dresser that had all the passys in it and brought them all in my room in her hands. She climbed up in my bed trying all of them out. One after the other. LOL It was so cute. It was like she was having withdraws from them and she just had to suck on all of them one by one. Priceless. Shortly after that I gave her a shower and took all of them away and hid them. She hasn't asked one time for them since then. This is night 3. It was way too easy.
Chandler was easy too. We were talking about how to take it away from him, it being our first child, we didn't know. I told Shane that I had heard some parents tell their kids that the trashman took it. The next thing we knew Chandler had handed me his passy and said, "Twash Mom, Twash." He asked for it that once at night and never again. But Connor, boy was he another story. It took about 3 weeks to finally ween him from it. Every child, even your own, from the same parents are so different.
Yessie has been sick with a UTI the last two days so we have been taking care of Bella. Yessie is feeling much better tonight though. So that is good news.
My Dad Kyle flew out the same day we did on Wednesday to come out for a Annual Motorcycle Trip. They are going all the way to Snowshoe, WV. For those of you who do know my Dad, he has not been on a motorcycle in years. So this is a little scary. The day before he left he was finishing finalizing his Will. That is so morbid Dad!!! So there are a total of 6 of them on this trip, Shane, Dustin, Dad, Shane's brother Chad, Shane's Dad Robin & Norman a friend of Robin's. PLEASE pray for their safe trip & return. We are all a little nervous. I talked to them today and all is well so far. It was supposed to rain all day today, thankfully Shane said it didn't rain till the last 2 miles to the hotel. So that was good. But Dad had already told them that if it started raining and they didn't see him, "Go back to the nearest motel and you will find me!!" LOL
Connor is not feeling well. He has a sinus infection, I think. He was crying upstairs and I went up found him laying on his tummy on the floor with his forehead on the carpet. I asked him what was wrong and he said his cheeks hurt. His little face is swollen & puffy. No sore throat but he has had a cough for the last few days. I was going to take him to urgent care but it was too late. So I gave him a good dose of Tylenol Cold medicine and put him to bed with a warm compress on his face.
I am thankful to be home. I really missed Shane and the kids missed their Daddy but I am not looking forward to what I have to do in the next two weeks. This time in 2 weeks I will be in the hospital recovering. Not really exciting to think about. I am really starting to get nervous about the whole thing. So I am really trying to not think about it too much until I have to. Kind of hard though.
Please pray for the guys on their trip, Connor & a friend in Oregon had surgery last week and has had complications, her name is Janelle. Good night and I hope everyone has a good weekend.
Love,
Rachael
Arriving home we unloaded & unpacked believe it or not. It wasn't too bad now that the boys are older they can unpack their own stuff. So that is nice. So really I only had to do mine and Caitlyn's. I did laundry with the help of my cousin, Nikki before I left so I didn't have to do that. I decided that night I was going to ween Caty from her passy. I have been trying to for months but something always came up. Cancer & trips you know the usual. LOL Anyway seeing as how I have 2 weeks before surgery I thought it might be a good time to try. Plus I figured with Shane gone for the weekend, if it was bad, only one of us would not get sleep. She fell right asleep that night and didn't even ask for it. Amazing!!! She woke up the next morning and asked for it. I tried to ignore it and put her in bed with me but she kept asking for it. So she decided that if Mommy wouldn't get it she would. So she got out of my bed, went to her room, grabbed the container on her dresser that had all the passys in it and brought them all in my room in her hands. She climbed up in my bed trying all of them out. One after the other. LOL It was so cute. It was like she was having withdraws from them and she just had to suck on all of them one by one. Priceless. Shortly after that I gave her a shower and took all of them away and hid them. She hasn't asked one time for them since then. This is night 3. It was way too easy.
Chandler was easy too. We were talking about how to take it away from him, it being our first child, we didn't know. I told Shane that I had heard some parents tell their kids that the trashman took it. The next thing we knew Chandler had handed me his passy and said, "Twash Mom, Twash." He asked for it that once at night and never again. But Connor, boy was he another story. It took about 3 weeks to finally ween him from it. Every child, even your own, from the same parents are so different.
Yessie has been sick with a UTI the last two days so we have been taking care of Bella. Yessie is feeling much better tonight though. So that is good news.
My Dad Kyle flew out the same day we did on Wednesday to come out for a Annual Motorcycle Trip. They are going all the way to Snowshoe, WV. For those of you who do know my Dad, he has not been on a motorcycle in years. So this is a little scary. The day before he left he was finishing finalizing his Will. That is so morbid Dad!!! So there are a total of 6 of them on this trip, Shane, Dustin, Dad, Shane's brother Chad, Shane's Dad Robin & Norman a friend of Robin's. PLEASE pray for their safe trip & return. We are all a little nervous. I talked to them today and all is well so far. It was supposed to rain all day today, thankfully Shane said it didn't rain till the last 2 miles to the hotel. So that was good. But Dad had already told them that if it started raining and they didn't see him, "Go back to the nearest motel and you will find me!!" LOL
Connor is not feeling well. He has a sinus infection, I think. He was crying upstairs and I went up found him laying on his tummy on the floor with his forehead on the carpet. I asked him what was wrong and he said his cheeks hurt. His little face is swollen & puffy. No sore throat but he has had a cough for the last few days. I was going to take him to urgent care but it was too late. So I gave him a good dose of Tylenol Cold medicine and put him to bed with a warm compress on his face.
I am thankful to be home. I really missed Shane and the kids missed their Daddy but I am not looking forward to what I have to do in the next two weeks. This time in 2 weeks I will be in the hospital recovering. Not really exciting to think about. I am really starting to get nervous about the whole thing. So I am really trying to not think about it too much until I have to. Kind of hard though.
Please pray for the guys on their trip, Connor & a friend in Oregon had surgery last week and has had complications, her name is Janelle. Good night and I hope everyone has a good weekend.
Love,
Rachael
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Our McCall Trip
The 4 Big BoysChandler, Connor, Andrew, & Colton
Our Shy Girl. Yeah Right!!!!
The Cabin we stayed in Thanks to the Davis'
Poor Andrews swollen nose & black eye
Kenny & Baby Ryker
Dad & Bella
Gorgeous Mountains & Valleys
My Beautiful Baby Girl: Caitlyn Rose
Chandler's Picture of a Red Headed Woodpecker. Wow!!!
Caitlyn & I on the Four Wheeler
Chandler
One evening while the kids were outside playing, Connor decided to teach Andrew how to build a catapult. Connor is now 7 & Andrew is 5. Andrew built his catapult with fire wood, then placed a rock on the end of it and stepped on it. Apparently he didn't hit it hard enough to make it over his head. The rock hit him right in the face. He now has a pretty big bruiser under his eye and along the left side of his face and his poor little nose is swollen too. Granted Connor didn't actually to this to him but he wouldn't have made the catapult without some help. But it was pretty funny.
Our Shy Girl. Yeah Right!!!!
The Cabin we stayed in Thanks to the Davis'
Poor Andrews swollen nose & black eye
Kenny & Baby Ryker
Dad & Bella
Gorgeous Mountains & Valleys
My Beautiful Baby Girl: Caitlyn Rose
Chandler's Picture of a Red Headed Woodpecker. Wow!!!
Caitlyn & I on the Four Wheeler
Chandler
As you can tell we all had a wonderful time. Thank you to my wonderful family for always making time for all of us when we come out here. You guys are the best.
We finally made it home today around 5:45 pm. It is about a 2 1/2 hour drive up there. No one got sick in my truck Thank God. Poor Bella was sick most of the time we were up there from getting carsick and then we think she must have got some kind of stomach virus because she kept throwing up even when she hadn't been riding in the car. Yessie and Bella had to leave to go home today back home to Charlotte/Harrisburg. Yessie was dreading it because even this morning 20 minutes before she left Bella was still pucking. Poor Baby. Aunt Carolyn went out to pray for her before Dad took her to the airport from McCall to Boise and 5 minutes down the road Bella fell asleep and slept the whole way & no pucking. Thank you Jesus. It might seem small but God answered our prayers and Yessie & Bella are on a plane home and should land within the hour.
We all had a blast at the Cabin. We arrived Thursday around 3:00pm at the Cabin we had rented. The cleaning lady was still there so the boys and I decided to explore, while Nikki fed Ryker & Yessie got Bella out of her carseat for a while, and find the lake which was said to be a "short walk out your back door". It was 1 mile away. Not good when you have 7 kids with you. We went in the back yard and it was knee high grass & mosquitoes like crazy. You could barely see. There were stagnant water all around the back yard so that was the biggest problem with the mosquitoes. Not good for someone who has a low immune system or the kids. Caitlyn's swell up like big knots. It is horrible. Anyway we called the rental place and they had nothing else available. Luckily, Kenny and Nikki have some friends, The Davies, who were leaving there cabin that day and said we could stay there. God Bless them. After being in the car with all the kids it had been a really long day.
One evening while the kids were outside playing, Connor decided to teach Andrew how to build a catapult. Connor is now 7 & Andrew is 5. Andrew built his catapult with fire wood, then placed a rock on the end of it and stepped on it. Apparently he didn't hit it hard enough to make it over his head. The rock hit him right in the face. He now has a pretty big bruiser under his eye and along the left side of his face and his poor little nose is swollen too. Granted Connor didn't actually to this to him but he wouldn't have made the catapult without some help. But it was pretty funny.
We arrived around 6:30 pm and unloaded. Kenny had met up with us by then and it was nice to have the help unloading everything. We ate around 7:30pm, played a game & then had a bon fire around the fire pit and made smores. Yummy!!!! Bedtime next. We were all exhausted. We all slept in till about 8:30 am. Not too bad. Jennifer, Aunt Gail & some of her kids came up to spend the day with us and brought dinner which was lasagna & garlic bread. It was delicious. We spent the day at a beachy area around the lake, rode the jet ski, swam & read books & magazines. It was a great day and the weather was perfect.
Saturday, we woke up and it was a little chilly. So we opted not to go out in the water. The water here is so cold. It is like ice water at first. On the East Coast we actually have warm ocean & lake water. The kids do not care though. Crazy kids!!!! So we played games, read books, the kids watched a movie & some of them went up to Tamarack just to look around. So I guess an overall lazy day. But so needed and we all enjoyed it. We were up till about midnight playing "Catch Phrase". It was a lot of fun and they all got to know Yessie a little better.
Today we got up made breakfast, which was Megas. It was pretty good if I do say so myself. After that it was cleaning time, we really would have rather paid someone to do it but that didn't work out so we had to do it ourselves. The biggest thing was washing all of the sheets and towels. That takes a lot of time with smaller appliances. So we didn't end up leaving till around 3:15 pm. It stormed a lot of the way but it was really pretty scenery. I love it out here. All the mountains, lakes, fir & pine trees, & then the beautiful valleys.
I hope you all have a blessed week,
Love,
Rachael
Thursday, July 9, 2009
On the Other Side
My cousin sent this story to me and I thought it was a pretty awesome way to look at Life & Death. We don't always know the future but we do know WHO holds the future. Never forget that.
Here is the story. I hope you enjoy it.
Here is the story. I hope you enjoy it.
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to
Leave the examination room and said,
'Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side.'
Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'
'You don't know? You're, a Christian man,
and don't know what's on the other side?'
The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
'Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
Leave the examination room and said,
'Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side.'
Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'
'You don't know? You're, a Christian man,
and don't know what's on the other side?'
The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
'Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
Pulling Over
As you can see I was pulled over while here visiting the great state of Idaho. They pulled me over because I was driving my Dad Kyle's new Chevy Avalanche and they couldn't see the tag from the tinted back window plus the trucks alignment was out really bad and I had let go of the wheel to check and see if that is what is was or not and the policeman thought I was drunk or talking on the phone. I was neither for the record. LOL The funny thing is Shane was pulled over on Sunday and while at Black Canyon on Saturday the police "pulled over" my cousin Kenny to check all relevant registration for his Jet Ski and for the boat. Then my cousin Josh was "driving" the wrong way in the water on the jet ski and the pulled him onto their boat and were writing him a ticket for about $179 bucks. Yikes but we all said we got pulled over that if anyone could talk himself out of a ticket it would be Josh and sure enough he did. LOL So it has been a crazy weekend.
The other pictures are of Caitlyn who now thinks she is a monkey. And misc. pictures of my cousins who we have seen on our trip so far. The one with all the kids in the pool is less than half of total cousins. And there were at least that many people in the house too. Crazy day but fun being with all of our family. We are so blessed to have such an extended family who are close and are able to spend time with. Everyone here lives within an hour of each other besides by Aunt Janet who lives 7 hours away in Staton, OR. We live the farthest in North Carolina. It always amazes me how we can feel so at home here but also home in North Carolina. I love my family and am so Thankful that we all have each other.
We leave tomorrow to go to McCall, ID near the Payette Lake. We rented a home in Donnelly right on the water. Short walk out the back door. It is perfect for the kids. They are very excited. Nikki & I went shopping today to get all the groceries odds & ins for the trip. My Aunt Gail and her family are coming up Friday to spend the day with us also. But total when they come will be about 20 people. Someday we will just have to rent 2 houses close to each other so that we can have more of the family come. But it still will be a blast. It is one of the only ways we can get the guys away from work to spend quality time with us. Fires on the lakefront with smores, swimming, jet skis, & four wheeling. You can't beat that with family.
My title pulling over was more for the Police incident but then I thought, "You know sometimes in Life we really just need to pull over, take a look at ourselves(license), check out who we are "registered/insured" with, buckle up and slow down." Just to really evaluate our lives & get back on the straight and narrow. It is not always the easiest road but it is the best one. But as always it is our choice.
Sometimes it seems like things can't get any worse but they really could. Shane could not have a job, we could not have health insurance, the kids health could be at risk, I could be so much sicker than I am, I could not have help with everything from my family from the East to the West Coast but even with all of that at the end of the day I still have my Family, My Children, & My Husband and to me that is all that matters. There are days lately when I look at my family and children with such overwhelming love that it just blows me away at how good God is and how he has blessed us. Even in the midst of all of this. I just have to believe it is for a Purpose.
I have never said anything about this before on my blog but we built a Spec home a year ago this summer. Obviously, it is still sitting on the market with the way the economy is. We need to sell this home soon. Please pray that God will send a buyer for this home quickly so we can be out from under this house. Thanks. I truly believe in all of your prayers. Look at me. And when it sells quickly it will just be one more testimony of Gods faithfulness.
Good Night,
Rachael
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Oregon/Idaho Trip & Baptism
So far we are having a really good time. It is always nice to catch up with family that you don't always have the opportunity to see all the time. We left Harrisburg at 4:30 am Wednesday morning to get to Raleigh by 6:30-7:00am. Our plane left on time but it was a long one. Over four hours. The kids all did really well thankfully. We had a short layover in Las Vegas and ate at the Mexican Restaurant there. Just like we always do when flying thru there. It was still really good.
When we arrived in Boise, we rented a car and headed for Dad's house in Payette, Idaho which is right off of the Snake River. Dad was not home yet so we unpacked and headed to my cousin Nikki's because she was cooking dinner for all of us. Yummy. Dad, Grandma met us there later. We finally left around 9:00 pm which is 2 hours earlier than our time in North Carolina. So we were beat. The kids were filthy from playing at Nikki's. So we all needed baths too. Very late night.
My Mom had an even later night. She was supposed to fly in about 3 hours after us and my cousin Josh was going to pick her up and bring her to Nikki's. But she missed one flight, then the stand by one was full and so by the time she finally got to Boise and to a hotel it was 2am. So she had to rent a car and drive in. What a time. I hate when that happens. Just glad it wasn't us with all 3 kids. Sorry mom. But still glad you could be here for Connor's Birthday and Chandler's Baptism service.
Shane got up at 4:30 am and left with Nikki's husband, Kenny, my uncle Greg and cousin Josh to go on a golfing trip. They did 3 golf courses in 2 days. Shane hasn't been golfing but 2 times in the last year much less 3 in that amount of time. But he did really good. One game he got a 95 and he said, "Babe and that is an honest 95 no mulligans or anything." They seemed to have had a really good time for a guys trip. They came home Friday evening and we had Nachos at Dad's then we all had to get ready to go to Black Canyon the next day. We spent the Fourth of July out there from about 9:30 till 7:00pm. It was the perfect day. Nice breeze, not too hot, it was just a lot of fun. Later we went back to Nikki's to do fireworks. It doesn't get dark here until about 10:20 pm. So needless to say we had to wait a while. But the guys put on a good show for us. There was about 30 or so family there. Only about half of us but still a lot of fun. While they were doing the fireworks one of them tipped over and started shooting at us. Thankfully no one was seriously injured. My aunt Carolyn was burned on the back of her knee and then it landed in her legs and burnt her pants on both sides. Nikki asked her, "Are you going to sue us?" LOL She is too funny. But she is doing good other than our minor mishap.
Today we had church and Chandler has been asking for the last 6 months or so to be baptized so we decided while we were here we would let his Grandpa Kyle do the honor. The only hitch was he wanted to be baptized in the river like Jesus. So we went to the river after church and Grandpa Kyle baptized him in the precious name of Jesus. I think he was a little embarrassed because some of the people from church, who are long time friends of the family, came also but he did really good. We are so proud that he has made the decision that is so important to show he wants to live a Godly life. Connor wanted to also but when he got into the water he decided that it was too cold and got out and asked, "Can't we do this in the swimming pool where it is warm?" LOL Too funny little man. Maybe he wasn't as ready as he thought. Maybe next year. But the temperature did not detour Chandler in the least. He was determined he was going to be baptized.
Everyone is taking naps and Connor's birthday is today so he wanted Lemon Poppy Seed Cake so that is what I am up making. So Mommy is not getting a nap today. Oh well it will be worth it to see his face light up when he sees his cake. Technically we already did it but it is his actual 7th Birthday. How time flies!! I can't believe he has been with us for 7 years and yet it is hard to remember life before any of them. The are our life now.
We are going to Nikki's tonight and Uncle Greg is making homemade tacos and ice cream. Yummy!!!! I can't wait.
I have also heard back again from my plastic surgeon's office and they still have not come up with anything other than the 30th of July. They said they could do it on the 10th of July but I won't be there. And then I have to have a pre-op appointment before the surgery with the plastic surgeon and by the time I get home she is on vacation. So I still don't know what is going to happen. I hate this. That is why I planned and called and made the appointment months ago. Worse case scenario I will have to choose another plastic surgeon. Which I really do not want to do so we shall see what happens. I am going to call them Monday. So pray something works out that way it is supposed to.
Well I think that is all the updates for now. We are having a good time. Everyone here is surprised at how "well" I look. Not sickly at all. I am so thankful for that. Everyday.
I hope everyone had a safe & happy 4th of July weekend.
Love to all,
Rachael
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