Giant for the day: Surgery for Power Port

Today I had surgery to have my port put in which will make it easier to administer my chemo &
herceptin treatments. It was a long day. We left the house at 8:20am and got home at 7:15pm. Shane did take me out to eat at Blue tonight downtown Charlotte seeing as how we were already there. It was delicious. Thanks Babe. However it made for a long day going in for surgery and then having to go straight from there to my herceptin treatment.



I arrived at the hospital about 9:10am, checked in & waited. Around 10:00am they came to get me and prep me for surgery. I still was not convinced that this was best. However after being stuck 4x today alone just to get an IV going I said, "Ok Lord, I can take a hint. I will do it." Plus my doctor said his kids needed new shoes this week. So however I can help him out....LOL He is really funny. I like him a lot.



I was sent to recovery and was able to leave there around 2:15pm. Next, we headed to the oncologist office for my herceptin treatment. We had been there for about 35 minutes and still had not been called back. I went and asked the receptionist how much longer it would be. She forgot to tell them I was there. Great! Just what I needed! Oh well. We had already spent the day in the hospital what was 35 more minutes. So I got back to the treatment room and waited some more for them to mix up my "cocktail". I slept thru this one because I was just so tired from the anethesia and the day. About 4:30 we were finally done for the day. Then we went to eat at Blue then home.



Shane had to help me undress, bathe, & get dressed for bed. I told him I thought we were going to be a whole lot older before we would have to be doing this. But my arm/shoulder area where they put the power port in is really sore. Not painful but just sore. Like I went to exercise boot camp and then someone punched me really hard in the shoulder. OWW!!! But no sharp pain or anything like that. I told the boys it could be like a Star Wars person & I bet no one in their class had a mommy with a power port. I let them feel it and see a picture of what the port looks like. It is a purple triangular shape with a circle on top then a tube that goes into your blood vessel. Connor said," Mommy you have a purple heart!" He thinks it looks like a heart. Too cute. Yesterday I told them I was having surgery and Connor said, "Mommy they are going to cut "it" off?" I told him,"No!"
That they were just putting in a device so mommy didn't have to get stuck with a needle everytime. He said that was good because he didn't like shots either. Chandler keeps asking,"Mommy when are you going to lose your hair?" "I don't know, Chandler!" "But Mommy you said we could ask you anything?" " You can, but I don't know the answer to that one. It will probably be this week." I think he thinks it will just be neat to see me with no hair. Typical kid.


All in all today was a good day. But I am pretty tired and Shane has to proofread my post before I post it because I am a little "loopy" from pain meds.

Love to all,
Rachael

Facing Our Giants

This weekend has been really good and relaxing for us. Just hanging out at home enjoying this beautiful Carolina weather. It was actually 79 here today. Absolutely Gorgeous. I am so ready for spring. It just represents so much new life. I have been feeling really good still. A few headaches but controllable with Advil & Tylenol. Thank God.

This morning Pastor Ross spoke about Giants. And going thru this I can say that I think this is the biggest giant I have ever faced in my entire life. And I know anyone who has had the ugly "C" word in their household would probably agree. The outcomes can be so random. Some respond well others have to try other means of treatment and for some they lose their lives. The unknown is so scary. But Pastor Ross showed us a way for us to put those "giants" that are in our lives in their place.

He said some of the giants in our lives can be things as simple as fear & unbelief. Those are some that I deal with off & on thru this "journey" of late. But I have to remember that the Bible says, "Perfect love casteth out all Fear" Not some of my fears but all of them. I know sometimes I worry/fear that I am not doing a good job with the kids. But I read a devotional one day that said, "Do you trust God with your job, your home, finances, safety, salvation, protection, & we could go on & on." Of course all of us would answer, "Yes, I trust him!" Almost defensive, "Like how could you ask such a question?" And God softly & gently answers, "Then trust me that I chose this child for you & have given him/her to you for a purpose. I picked you for his mommy/daddy. I then think, "Wow!!" How true is it that God knew us before we were created in the womb. So of course he knew the child he was giving me and that I would do a good job with his help. One of my favorite scriptures as a child was, "What time I am afraid I will trust in thee." I used to say that if I had nightmares or something now it has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

Another thing that really struck me today was the comparison of the valley to the mountain top. So many times when we are going thru a trial we say we are going thru a valley, but if you look at pictures and consider what a mountain top is compared to a valley. The valley is so pretty, Luscious green grass & cool waters. What's not to love?!! But the mountain top is pretty rocky sometimes like our lives. Then I was thinking about the 23rd Psalm when it says, Yeah though I walk thru the valley of the "shadow of death". Maybe this is where that concept of the valley being "bad" comes from. But as I write this another thought came to me, "What makes the shadows in the valley? Answer: The mountains around it. I don't think is was saying the valley was "bad" but it was the "shadow of the mountain". The mountain was the shadow of death in the valley. Just a thought. I am no theologian and have never been to Bible School but this just really hit me writing this and thinking about the sermon today. Maybe I am wrong but it sounds good to me and makes since in light of the message today. LOL

So moving along, I am so thankful for how well I am feeling. Never in 100 years would I think this is what is feels like to have breast cancer & going thru chemo. I know it is only due to all the prayers that have been said on my behalf. I am eternally grateful to each and everyone of you who pray for me. Some I don't even know personally & that makes it even more special that you would take the time to say a prayer for someone you don't even know. I still have a head FULL of hair. A little shorter but still very thick. They say it usually falls out around day 14 or 15 which is tomorrow. YUCK!! I know it will probably happen sooner or later. But I keep hoping I might be one of the few that doesn't loose their hair. I know that is unrealistic but maybe, just maybe I chopped my hair for nothing. LOL That would be funny.

Tomorrow I am going to have surgery to have a Port a Cathe put in. This is a device that they put underneath your skin usually above your heart and below your shoulder blade. It is used do administer chemo, so that they don't have to stick me 52x in my arm. How thoughtful of them? Right?!! LOL They have a numbing spray that they put on you before they stick the needle into the "port". Sounds kind of X-Files to me. But whatever. I'll let you know if it is any better than getting stuck every week. It seems to me that either way I am getting stuck so what is the big deal. As you can see, I am not thrilled about it. But apparently I don't have a choice. This is a giant for me this week.

After surgery, I will be in recovery for a few hours and then have to go to the Oncologist office to have my weekly herceptin treatment. So it will be a very long day tomorrow. Shane is going with me to both. I am glad he will be there for me. So please pray for a speedy recovery from that with no complications & for my bad attitude towards it. JK or as Pastor says,"Kind Of"

One of my final thoughts for the day is from a song that we sang at church today by Chris Tomlin:

:How Great is Our God"

The chorus goes like this:

How great is our God,

sing with me

How great is our God

and all will see How great,

how great is our God !!

I love this song. It always reminds me of God's Greatness. He is not to big for busy mom's & dad's, for our economy, for jobs, or even in my case cancer. He is a great big God. Another thing that Pastor said today was,"Quit looking at how big the giant is!!! Look at how Big Our God Is!!!!" So this week that is what me and my house are going to do. We are going to look at how BIG Our GOD really is. And hopefully "All" will truly see how great he his thru all of us.

PS. As you can tell I enjoyed the message today. Thank you Pastor Rick.

Good Night & I hope you have a wonderful week,

Rachael

Comments

Some have contacted me and said they are having trouble leaving comments. I took off the security code thing. So please try again. I love reading everyone's comments. It means a lot that you all take time out of your busy schedules to read our blog. And even more when you comment. We love you all. Thank you for your prayers, support, flowers, & kind words.

Love to All,
The Higginbothams

Guess Who???

This is a funny one for tonight. Sometimes we all just need a good laugh. And the Lord blessed me with one of the goofiest brothers alive. Dustin decided to try on my new wig I got today. I hope you enjoy these as much as we did. Thanks for a really good laugh tonight D. I love you.

Faith

I know we have all heard the scripture quoted," Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen." Well now I get to really live it. Do I really believe that God can bring me thru this? All of my knowledge of who God is screams to me, "Yes, I believe, but in my heart of hearts, Do I? I think that is the essence of what Faith really is. I have no reason not to believe. If I don't what else is there? Nothing. A void & a longing that I know only God can fill. Yes I "hope" with all of my heart that God brings me thru this a better and stronger person than I am now. But sometimes it is so hard to believe when we cannot see. I can't see the future. I don't really know what God's plan is for my life. I hope and pray that he let's me live to raise my 3 beautiful children, but I have to trust that he can see the whole picture where as I can only see what is in front of me. That is so scary to have to trust him with that but that is Faith. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to have that faith. Because without it I could not do this. And then I think how much scarier would all of this be if I didn't know God. I hope and pray that each person who reads my journey can see that this, my cancer, is going to be for the good. Satan might have meant it for evil or to do me in but God is going to take this a use it to make a difference in someones life. It has already changed me and my outlook on life. I hope and pray that it will change you too.

Back in January, Shane & I went on a weekend trip with my cousin Nikki & Kenny to McCall, ID. We had so much fun. It was relaxing and we all had a really good time together. While there Nikki and I went shopping and I found a wall plate with the following saying:

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to be over, But Learning to Dance in the Rain."

I had bought it for my mom. Little did I know how much that saying would me to me once I got home. Because that is when I found my lumps. So I am not just waiting for this storm to pass but I am learning to "Dance in the Rain"

Thank you to everyone who prays for me on a daily basis. Trust me and know that I feel it. I don't even feel like I have cancer. I feel really good. And I know it is only by the grace of God that that is even possible.

I still haven't lost any hair. But they say it will probably happen by next Monday. I am nervous over that every morning when I wake up I am looking at my pillow. But one day at a time.

My wonderful Aunt Janet has sent me 4 new hats. So I will take pictures tomorrow and pose & post them for everyone to see. They are really adorable. Thank you Aunt Janet.

Good Night for now

Rachael

Life Goes On

Here is an adorable picture of CaityBug with my hat on. She is mine,but she is so cute. Those big blue eyes like her Daddy. She is such a lovebug. I just thought this would make you smile because it did me.

I have been thinking lately about me getting cancer. One of my thought is about my precious baby girl that I feel like I have waited all my life for. For as far back as I can remember all I have wanted to be was a mom and to at least have 1 little girl. I could never picture my future without one. I just knew God would answer my prayers someday. And even after I had a miscarriage before Caitlyn Rose, I still knew God would answer my heartfelt lifelong prayer to have a baby girl. And he did. I finally have my little girl. I know now how my mom must have felt as she held me in her arms. All the dreams, wishes & desires you have for this child that God has so richly blessed you with all bundled up in this little person.

My thoughts lately have led me to wonder "What if this would have happened when I was pregnant with Caitlyn?" "Maybe God waited till I had my lifelong prayer answered." I am so thankful that he did see fit to bless me with this beautiful child who makes me laugh everyday. She is truly my sunshine during this not so bright time in our lives. I love to see how she looks at Shane as he walks thru the door with those big adoring eyes and shouts, "DaDa!!" when she hears the door open and runs to him.

There is just something special about Daddies and their little girls. I am very grateful for both of mine. I think they both did a pretty good job of raising me. God must have thought I was going to be a handful and thought I needed a double dose or something. They are totally different but love me for who I am. I love you both. Thank you for making me the lady, mom, daughter, wife, & sister that I am today. I love you Dad. I love you Tony! Thank you for what you have instilled in me because that is what makes me what I am today.

So today amidst all the hustle & bustle of life. Which today included helping mom unpack,still. How can one person have so much stuff???? I shampooed the carpets in the living room which desperately needed it after a weekend of movers, kids & dogs & snow. Isabella came over for a while so Yesenia could run a few errands and not have her out in the cold. (She has been sick for about a week with a cold/congestion) And the boys were home from school again because of the snow which they still had spelling & reading homework to do so they would not be behind and have to do a lot the rest of the week. (Mean Mommy, I know) I also cooked Turkey Cutlets for dinner and of course a load or 2 of laundry. (A must)

My point is that even with all of this I knew I needed to take time out to spend with the boys and Caitlyn. Life is so precious and they all are growing up too fast. The boys and I sat down and read a chapter book together about a Ghost Town. It was fun and they were practicing their reading. After dinner, I gave Caitlyn an extra long bath just because she likes too. And hey what else is so important that I just have to be doing? Nothing!!! She sat on the floor and read her books about Dora and Melmo(Elmo) as she calls it. And tried to sing, "Tinkle Tinkle" Little star!! I rocked her longer than I had to or than I normally do, just because. It didn't matter that there is still a load of laundry in the dryer , the playroom is not perfectly clean, there are still dishes to dry on the counter from dinner, & mom's office is still a disaster. Because as I sat there rocking my baby girl, all is right with me, my family, & the world. And Life Truly Does Go On!!!!

All my Love,

Rachael Renea

Good News

Good Good News!!!Yeah!!!!

Today I am sitting in the Doctor's office having my 2nd Herceptin treatment. Only 50 more to go!!! Anyway, I met with Dr. Limentani before my treatment and he examined me. He said my tumors have already significantly shrunk in size after only one treatement. Thank you Jesus!!! I thought they felt different but didn't know if it was just me and wishful thinking. But he confirmed it today. He said, "I would categorize this as a "great response". Even better than we could have hoped." My blood counts were really good. They said above 1 is good and mine were 2.8. Awesome!!! I only had to get stuck once today so that is always a good thing too.

The last few days have been just OK. I have had a killer headache/migraine. I don't know what it is but it sucks!!! I feel carsick in my head only, sinus headache, dizzy like my equilibrium is off all in one giant headache. YUCK!! But I still am not pucking. Thank God!! They told me to try and take Tylenol & Advil together to kick this headache. It just makes me not want to do anything because moving around makes me dizzy even more. So I have taken the meds and it is starting to ease off a little. Shane says,"Good!!" Apparently he thinks I have been a little grumpy these last few days.

We got Mom all moved in this weekend in the rain. It was so messy though. So now I have my Mom, 3 kids, husband & 2 dogs living with me. Wow!! What a household! I am sure they will never be a dull moment for quite a while in the Higginbotham Household. Mom is continuing to unpack and try to make herself at home in our home. I have been no help at all not being able to be up and around without my head killing me. So her & Shane have been on their own. Shane did all the laundry last night with mom's washer & dryer. He likes all the buttons and says,"I like to customize my loads." Go figure.

It snowed last night and was just beautiful. Snow in March. That is Carolina for you. The kids are out of school and went to play with Dustin & Yessie on the big hill in back of his house. They were pretty excited. I hope they have a lot of fun. They have been really good this week with really trying not to fight. But they are really excited about Grandma moving in too. She has told them she is going to redecorate their rooms. Chandler wants a Star Wars Room. Connor we are still deciding.

We are almost done with treatment and Shane is going to take me out to lunch. Not sure where but a good burger sounds good to me.

Love to all,

Rachael