Faith

I know we have all heard the scripture quoted," Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen." Well now I get to really live it. Do I really believe that God can bring me thru this? All of my knowledge of who God is screams to me, "Yes, I believe, but in my heart of hearts, Do I? I think that is the essence of what Faith really is. I have no reason not to believe. If I don't what else is there? Nothing. A void & a longing that I know only God can fill. Yes I "hope" with all of my heart that God brings me thru this a better and stronger person than I am now. But sometimes it is so hard to believe when we cannot see. I can't see the future. I don't really know what God's plan is for my life. I hope and pray that he let's me live to raise my 3 beautiful children, but I have to trust that he can see the whole picture where as I can only see what is in front of me. That is so scary to have to trust him with that but that is Faith. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to have that faith. Because without it I could not do this. And then I think how much scarier would all of this be if I didn't know God. I hope and pray that each person who reads my journey can see that this, my cancer, is going to be for the good. Satan might have meant it for evil or to do me in but God is going to take this a use it to make a difference in someones life. It has already changed me and my outlook on life. I hope and pray that it will change you too.

Back in January, Shane & I went on a weekend trip with my cousin Nikki & Kenny to McCall, ID. We had so much fun. It was relaxing and we all had a really good time together. While there Nikki and I went shopping and I found a wall plate with the following saying:

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to be over, But Learning to Dance in the Rain."

I had bought it for my mom. Little did I know how much that saying would me to me once I got home. Because that is when I found my lumps. So I am not just waiting for this storm to pass but I am learning to "Dance in the Rain"

Thank you to everyone who prays for me on a daily basis. Trust me and know that I feel it. I don't even feel like I have cancer. I feel really good. And I know it is only by the grace of God that that is even possible.

I still haven't lost any hair. But they say it will probably happen by next Monday. I am nervous over that every morning when I wake up I am looking at my pillow. But one day at a time.

My wonderful Aunt Janet has sent me 4 new hats. So I will take pictures tomorrow and pose & post them for everyone to see. They are really adorable. Thank you Aunt Janet.

Good Night for now

Rachael