Last night we all dressed up and had a Girls Night Out at Flemings Steakhouse downtown Charlotte. It was mainly to celebrate Yesenia's 25th Birthday but it was a good excuse to get out for the night. We all needed it. We had a lot of fun eating, laughing & just enjoying each other's company. Left to Right is:(My mom: Lin, Audra (my brother's girlfriend & close family friend), Yesenia my sister in law, ME, & Tia Marta my Aunt) We enjoyed eating filet, lobster, & crab. It was delicious.This was my first time out in public with my wig so I was a little self conscious to say the least. I know it is just me and unless you know me the average joe doesn't know I am wearing a wig. But I couldn't help but wonder if when people looked at me, "Can they tell it's a wig?" Probably not.
I finally this afternoon looked at myself in the mirror. The saying, "Take a good look at yourself in the mirror." Has more meaning to me than most. I still don't know what I feel seeing myself this way. I know that as I stood there I know I can't forget that I do have cancer. It is a constant reminder, daily! I guess that is the part I hate. It was nice to forget it once in a while. I am sure I will eventually become used to being bald and it will be "normal". I guess I just feel so "stripped" down & transparent. I want to cry for my loss but I have to think of what I am gaining. "MY LIFE" This chemo that is making me lose my hair is saving my life too. It is weird of how something that is so sad is going to give me back my life. Kind of like Calvary. As sad & horrible as it was it has given all of us a chance at New Life. Not just a better life but a new one. I am not saying what I am going thru is anything like Christ, but that God can take something unhappy & make it into something beautiful.
Overall I still feel really good. It seems that instead of nausea & vomitting I get heartburn & migraines for about the 4-8 day after chemo. But I will take that over the alternative.
I am going to call it a night. My head is killing me.
Good Night,
Rachael
I just have to say the wig looks MUCH better on you than it did on Dustin ;-) you look great! I'm glad ya'll were able to have some fun! love ya!
ReplyDeleteHi Rach just seen your pic of girls night out ya all look great . Glad you had fun. It will take your mind off things. I"m trying to listnen to someone tell me a story while I"m typing so if the thought don"t make sense I got an excuse this time. Trav was supposed to email me a pic of his new jeep guess I"ll check and see. Goodnite. Love Dad
ReplyDeleteGlad you were able to enjoy the 'girls night out'! You look great and you're right... probably NO one else knew.
ReplyDeleteYou've been on my mind most of the day. I hope it was a good one for you.
Take care. Keeping you in my prayers... Kathy