Well I guess the above as the saying goes a picture or pictures are worth a thousand words.
I finally had to shave my hair off this evening. It was really thin & looked bad. So Mom bought some clippers today without, me knowing, and gently set them on the table and told me,"You know it will be better." I don't know about that, but going around and watching in slowly fall out more and more was just really depressing me. I was hating how I was feeling and I was getting tired of being depressed over my hair.
So We Did It!!! All of us. W made it a family affair. Connor was very eager to help relieve me of what little bit of hair that I had left. I asked him if he was still going to love Mommy even though I was bald. He simply said, "Of course, Why wouldn't I?" I love that little boy. Chandler made a few cuts but left the room in tears. He had been asking me all week if I am OK. I just told him I was a little sad because my hair was falling out so much. So I think that it was a little much once Shane brought out the clippers. He knew how hard it was for me to do this. He is really such a sensitive & loving boy. But as you can see he came back out and is doing better now. Caitlyn sat and watched in her chair the whole time. After I was done she rubbed my head & gave me a kiss. Mom took pictures and gave much needed support. Shane told me how hot I was even bald. I don't agree with that. But not much choice now.
Shane shaved the rest in the shower for me. So now it is completely bald & smooth. Maybe I will get brave and post a picture later. I, myself, have not looked at it totally bald. So I don't even know what it looks like. That was the shortest 2 day haircut I have ever had.
We are going out tomorrow for Yesenia's 25th Birthday for a Girl's Night Out to Flemings Steakhouse. I will get to wear my wig out in public for the first time. So that should be interesting. I will let you all know.
Please continue to pray for all of us. It is not something that is just affecting me but my husband, kids, & family. This so far is our biggest adjustment and milestone & the most obvious sign of my sickness especially for the boys. I know we are going to be alright but it is emotional for all of us.
Thank you again for the love, prayers, & support.
Rachael
my heart is breaking for you right now Rach. I know how hard today was for you-even if I didn't know you, the pictures tell it all. You will always be beautiful no matter how long or short your hair is. You have to take Shanes word for it for now and that is ok. Just keep leaning on God for strength...the rest of us are holding you up too. I love you little cousin!
ReplyDeleteRachel I am so sorry. I am back up and checking your blog. Myself being very emotional right now for you, I can only 'try to imagine' the mixed feelings your household and your family are experiencing. You have been and are so incredibly strong, and most inspiring with your blog. The journaling I'm guessing has been good therapy for you as well. My heart is certainly going out to you daily, and especially at this very moment. Know you are being thought about. I admire your great courage.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you...
I have been following your blog and battle ever since your Aunt asked for prayers for you. So I am totally unbiased here. Trust me. You look hot! Much more hip than the precancer hair do. Promise. You are the prettiest bald chick ever! (ANd I am not a scary stalker even though I sound like one right now). I am sorry this is so upsetting to you. I know I can't even imagine what you are going through. But obectively you really look awesome. Hang in there!
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